you may remember brownie bragging about how he whipped a houston hasher named johnboy at a recent hash and the incline---here is johnboy's ironman experience from last month

ps. johnboy agrees, brownie is a wanker

Ironman Arizona 2007

The 2300 people were all dressed in their black wetsuits. They all waded or jumped into the water like a troop of penguins leaving an iceberg. They swim to the start line 150 meters away. Prior to starting they had to tread water for 15 minutes waiting to begin the 2007 Arizona Ironman.
The Ironman is an endurance event consisting of a 2.4 mile swim, followed by a 112 mile bike ride, followed by a 26.2 mile run. The Ironman grew out of a bar room argument in Hawaii about which was the tougher event, the long swim across the bay, the bike ride around the island of Oahu, or the Honolulu marathon. To settle the disagreement a few guys decided to try all three. Fifteen men showed up for the 1st race, 9 finished. Today, 30 years later, thousands show up for the races worldwide.
I was in the water waiting with the others. The starting canon goes off and I am immediately kicked in the face. I hope this is not a sign of things to come. I shake it off and start swimming. It is 7am and the sun is rising. The first leg of the swim is directly east, straight into the sun. I can’t really see where I am going but I am surrounded by swimmers and everyone is headed the same direction. I am constantly being bumped, scraped, and slapped by the herd. This is more like a rugby match then a swim. We eventually reach the turn buoy and the swarm becomes tighter. It’s shoulder to shoulder. We make the last turn and head west. The sun is now behind us and I can see a dotted line of orange buoys stretched far off towards the bridge near the starting line. The pack never thins out. It’s full contact the whole way.
I reach the exit point and climb up the stairway out of the water. There are a group of “strippers” to help everyone get out of their wetsuit. I unzip the back and pull it down. I sit on the ground and someone pulls the rubber suit off my legs. I hop up and head to the transition area. I am handed my numbered gear bag and enter the tent I dump my cycle gear on the ground and shove my swim stuff into the bag. I don my jersey and shoes and run out the other end of the tent. Girls are there to slather me with sunscreen as I put on my bike helmet.
I run out the gate into a sea of racked bikes. I locate my yellow bike and start running to the mounting line. I jump on and click my shoes into the pedals. The first section is thru the downtown area but soon heads out into the desert. The route is three 36 mile loops. The wind is hateful that day. The day before had been calm, but this morning a front had come in and the wind was 25mph with gusts of 45 miles. Going out of town was fast with the wind at my back, but once I turned around it was full speed in my face. In most bike races the riders group together and draft, but in triathlons drafting is illegal. Everyone is leaning down on their aerobars to minimize the effect.
I have a lot on time to think on the bike. I choose this race in particular because it was staged in Phoenix, Arizona. A little more then a year my wife, Cheryl, and I and had a baby. We named him Phoenix Malcolm and had great hopes for him. But due to a cruel fate he was born way too early and therefore had many complications. He died after 41/2 months. Cheryl and I were heartbroken. We are better now but will never be completely over it. As I ride I look at the photo of little Phoenix I have taped on my bike. Then I think a happy thought. The new baby girl, Kayla Zane, is on the way and will be here in a month. Cheryl is 8 months pregnant, that is why she is not at the race to cheer my on. This thought gives me a mental boost and I power into the wind.
After the third lap I’m more then ready to get off the bike. I cruise in to the transition area and hand my bike to one of the many volunteers. I’m handed my T2 run bag. I change in to my run shoes and trot out of the tent. Before I leave I’m recovered with sunscreen to protect me against the relentless sun.
My legs don’t want to go. I feel worn down from the windy ride. But I am able to jog down the trail on the first of three loops I make it to the first water station and I’m handed a wet sponge. This is very refreshing in the hot desert sun. I drank some water followed by a shot on cola. I trot off wondering if I can make it to the next station. I manage to keep moving my feet. After a few miles I get into a better rhythm and maintain a decent speed. Each loop passes near the finish line and I wish I could stop, but I keep trudging forward. On the 3rd loop I start getting some painful cramps. I’m forced in to short sections of walking. I count 40 steps of walking then run until the next series of cramps. The pain is bad but not getting worse. I keep moving. I can see the end and manage to run a little faster I cross the finish line and the announcer says over the mike “Kyle Hensley you are an Ironman”. This makes my happy. But I’m even happier that I can stop running. Everything hurts and I’m a little delirious.
After going thru the finishers shoot, I get a quick massage the sit down in the grass and think about the day. I am grateful I’m given the opportunity to do this insane thing. My wife Cheryl is great for allowing me the time to go out and train for countless hours. I think about little Phoenix but this time it is a happy thought. I feel I’ve honored him well by giving everything I had today.
My cousin Charla finds me. She has brought me a beer. Normally this would be a great thing, but I’m too tried to drink it right now. Charla watches over me as I gather by bike and other gear. I had a good day. My total time was 12 hr and 11 minutes and 44 seconds. This is 19 minutes better then my previous time. I’m proud of this. But I’m already thinking about what I can do better for next time. Later, I do manage to drink that beer.


Kyle Hensley
Swim: 1:15, Bike: 6:12, Run: 4:30,
Total: 12:11:44